


i gave you my heart

by reinacadeea



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluffiest thing I will ever write, M/M, for agoodcaptaingoesdownwithhership, robronsecretsanta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 20:09:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9200366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinacadeea/pseuds/reinacadeea
Summary: robert contemplates christmasses past and present while aaron is adorable and needs lovin'for the gift exchange robronsecretsanta run by memorieswarm on tumblr. special thanks to her for being a champion.





	

**Author's Note:**

> since my christmas was absolutely ridic, i did not get to pay as much attention to my gift as i would have liked. but yes, this is my gift in case someone didn't know it was me :) 
> 
> i went on a nosy on my receiver's blog and found that she was a gigantic sports nerd. i really wanted to write roblivion going to a match, but since her team was arsenal that resides in london, i couldn't make it fit. i'll write that fic some other time. the shows depicted in the story is the actual itv christmas schedule. cake wars was on one of the channels for the entirety of the 24th *shudders*

Christmas Eve Day

…

“What’s on?”

Robert jumps into the sofa beside Aaron, sitting with his legs slung on the table and his arms crossed loosely. He fits in beside Aaron, their thighs aligning, and Aaron shifts into him just slightly. 

“Cake Wars,” Aaron says. 

“So, nothing?” Robert asks, looking down at him fondly. 

Aaron nods in agreement and Robert folds an arm around his shoulders. 

“Ugh,” Noah says, coming through from upstairs. 

Robert’s gone immune to the taunts, finds it easy to endure when Aaron’s so warm beside him, so real. The Christmas tree is up and Chas’ gaudy decorations, it seems, have taken over the pub. It’s cosy, nice… and not how he had imagined he would be a year ago.

A full year ago… a year ago, the hole in his chest still ached and he slept more than ten hours a day and he dreamed of Aaron every night, thinking they would never find any sort of common ground again, that they would remain ‘friends’ until Robert began to resent him. Then everything else came and suddenly happiness didn’t seem so far away. 

It seems like a different life, a year ago, even two years ago, sneaking off with Aaron while Andy and Katie had celebrated their wedding and he had still been married to Chrissie. 

Something over dramatic is happening on the telly, but Robert’s eyes are drawn to Aaron playing with his ring, like he always does, like he doesn’t even notice anymore. He would in the beginning when the ring was still new and its feel different. Aaron’s probably never worn any sort of jewellery before, but he rarely takes it off, even at the scrapyard, like he forgets it’s even on there. In a couple of years it’ll be thin and worn, loved… in a couple of years. It seems prosperous to even think about a couple of years in the future, like he could hope for happiness more than what he has now. 

Because he’s happy. He’s very happy. Cake Wars is on and he barely knows what it’s about, but it’s here in the pub. Next year, they’ll be in the Mill and they will have to buy their own Christmas decorations and Liv will grumble when Aaron makes her do the tree, but inside she’ll be glowing, because he’s got her figured out, just like he sees right through Aaron’s reluctant indignation.

Noah has got his iPad with him, sitting in the kitchen silently like he’s taken to recently, grumbling about the unfairness of Liv getting to move into a bigger and better place. The kid barely knows what a happy Christmas feels like and Charity is half-drunk like none of it matters. 

“Despicable Me is on,” Aaron mentions and Noah turns his shoulders up, listening but pretending not to be. 

Aaron’s been contemplative lately, deep in thought, thinking something through in a way that doesn’t involve Robert. And that’s okay, because he sticks close to Robert when he does that, exuding empathy left and right like right now. Noah is lonely and Robert doesn’t think Aaron wants anyone to be lonely like he was last year. 

There is a tray of chocolates on the table by Aaron’s feet. Robert watches Noah move in several stages; first to get a glass of water, a piece of chocolate, and finally pulling a chair over towards the telly. Aaron changes the channel without a word and Noah relaxes. Maybe he thought Aaron would gloat, something Charity would have done, but Aaron doesn’t. 

-  
Boxing Day  
…

There is a match on. He hasn’t really been watching, shifting through the messages between Vic and Diane. He’s thanked them for their presents, wished them a Happy Christmas. 

Aaron comes in from the bathroom and jumps onto the bed, crawling over Robert’s legs and Robert watches him, feeling his heart rate pick up. 

“You look sexy,” he comments and Aaron bends down slightly to bring their lips together. 

It’s encompassing this feeling he feels right this moment. There is nothing and nowhere he would rather do or be. Their room is a mix-match of their personalities, of them together. They have made this, fought tooth and claw for every single lamp and bed sheet. Even that stupid plastic Christmas tree in the corner that Aaron bought in Hotten on impulse. 

He frames Aaron’s face, deepens the kiss. Aaron hums happily and they part slowly, Aaron sliding down beside Robert. 

It never feels like quite enough, it never feels like they’re close enough, but today comes close. This moment feels too perfect almost, like their thoughts have aligned and the world is in the palm of their hands. 

It feels too good, but he’s always been selfish.

“Shit defence, that,” Aaron comments and Robert looks up at the telly on the wall, one he insisted on when he moved in. It’s their quiet when the world goes a bit mental, a refuge from the high and low points. 

He remembers during the summer when the Olympics was on and Liv would sit on the other side of Aaron in the bed, eating fruits and drinking tea into the nights while they laughed at the synchronized swimmers and cheered on Andy Murray. They hadn’t fit together the same way they do now, but they were in transition, feeling each other out slowly. And everything had been new and every day with Aaron an adventure of trial and error. 

“Next year we’ll be in the new house, you know,” he says and a small smile spreads on Aaron’s lips. 

“It’s naff, innit it?” Aaron says. “All of this.” 

“In a good way,” Robert says. 

“Yeah,” Aaron agrees. “But it’s quick.”

Robert sighs. “What’s your point? You don’t want it?”

Aaron wrings his hands. “Course I do. It feels like a dream or somethin’.” 

“You can wake up from a dream,” Robert tells him. “This is real and the only real I want.”

Aaron snorts and Robert laughs with him. 

They do sound naff sometimes, like they’re both surprised that they have something real and substantial. 

“It’s a miracle, you know, you and me,” he says, linking his hand with Aaron’s. “This is the third Christmas we know each other. The past two I wanted you and now that I have you, I want you even more. You’re in me, around me. For me, Christmas is good because of you. It’s special and I want it to mean the same thing to you – for us.”

Aaron brushes the edges of Robert’s tee and rubs his fingers on the skin, making Robert shiver in anticipation. “It takes a miracle for us to work,” he says with a cheeky grin. “Maybe a Christmas miracle is all we need.”

 

Fin (22.12.16)

**Author's Note:**

> have a nosy on reinacadeea on tumblr. feedback and comments are what warms hearts are made of.


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